Raj: You are beginning to get the idea, Paul. It is not necessary for you to understand. It is only necessary for you to be with me and, as Susan said, be the Door.
You have no idea What stands behind the Threshold pressing, literally, to move through. But you are feeling the pressure. You are feeling the presence of It. I will tell you something: The Door has no definition aside from its function. The Threshold has no definition aside from its function. And its function is to be that Place over which or through which God is Self-expressed.
I fully understand the fact that your training, and, indeed, the approach of those around you is that you are accountable, and therefore you need to be able to account for yourself. But, I will tell you something, Paul: You cannot account for being the Door, for being the Threshold, if the function of the Threshold is not occurring. If the movement of Being is not moving over It, It can't be accounted for. And so it is essential for you to drop the conditioning which says that you must be able to account for yourself as a Threshold before It fulfills Its function. After It fulfills Its function, there is no need to account for It. And even if others then want an accounting, which would require the Threshold to cease performing Its function so that It could define or account for Itself, you must realize that what is being required cannot be done. Therefore you must neglect to respond, and you must neglect to feel that some sort of response ought to be able to be forthcoming.
You do not amount to anything on your own, because you don't exist on your own! Therefore, you cannot account for yourself on your own. The demand of others for you to account for yourself on your own, so that they can continue to believe that they can account for themselves on their own, must not be played into. It is, again, like accounting for where your lap goes when you stand up.
When we do a Workshop, you do not attempt to conceptualize ahead of time what will happen. You do not require yourself to understand the "plan," as though there were a plan. And the Workshops happen. And they are beautiful. They are meaningful. They are transformational. Why then would you attempt to understand ahead of time what being Fourth-dimensional will mean, and how you will play Pictionary or engage in any other activity?
Life is not going to unfold according to any preconceptions. You could make assumptions as to what would be covered in a Workshop, but it would be a fruitless expenditure of energy, because you, from a personal, private standpoint, cannot govern the movement of Life, and what will really spontaneously and actually occur will occur in spite of your preconceptions.
I want to point out to you that the antsy-ness which you are experiencing is the feeling of the activity of the Movement "waiting" to move over the threshold. But if you are insisting upon comprehending who you are as the Door, you will be inclined, as something separate from Its function, to act on your own.
The suggestion that you ought to be able to account for yourself will promote acts of accounting for yourself without engaging in the function of your Being. You will simply continue the attempt to function as an ego—except that your ego is crumbling. Where in the past you had been able to account for yourself pretty well, any attempts you now make to account for yourself will be disastrous—absolutely unsuccessful. Therefore, do not bother. Do not waste your time.
Paul: I am experiencing silence. Am I blocking, or are you simply not saying anything?
Raj: I am not saying anything.
Paul: Well, I'm still stuck. I mean by that that the demands confronting me are still confronting me. Do I just sit here and wait until you say something again, and feel confident that the silence, and my sitting here in the silence, is an appropriate use of my time when I don't seem to be addressing the very severe demands?